Uncomfortable

Nothing excites more to siblings Balik kampung and gather with family, expecially during the festive month. I've never experiance that because I've never been far away from my parents and I'm the eldest among only 3 siblings. And most of the time our room is our nesting place. Even if we travel back to our grandma's house, we will end up in a hotel. Each room just for ourselves. Growing up reserved almost half of your life, you haven't experiance 'tidur lambak' nor the things what a real Balik kampung feel is.
Now married to a big family, the things I've never experiance, the ritual of tidur lambak, ritual of big family gathering eating in one big dulang, the loudness of 10 siblings (my husbands side), shock me at first..., frankly even after 4 years and now with 2 beautiful children, I still get uncomfortable whenever we have to sleep in together with the rest of the Inlaws. Expecially when you are in a phase of fully breastfeed. Malu, and uncomfortable fits me everytime. Everytime. And tht everytime I try to swallowed my frustration and forcing myself to adapt.